Acerbate

I thought I was over this but I saw it creep in little tiny bits and pieces this morning. Over the years, I have learnt to have absolute control over my emotions and vexation. It really had a toll on me but life and Dad thought me that I'll have to confront my 'bad' or face the dreaded consequence.

Yeah from my many years of therapy, it really takes a 'bomb!' to make me a piqued. I mean, I can control almost any situation even if I am boiling inside if only I could save friendships and have other people happy. I remember when I was growing out of teenage. My father saw that spanking did not solve the problem of my unruly behaviour, he resorted to the perfect remedy.....spanking with words. God! I hated to be sat down for hours and be supposedly counselled. And my Dad just found the perfect therapy for me. Whenever he knew I did something wrong, He'd sit me down and talk about it for ages....lord-knows he was good at it. Goodbye to the days of occasional spanking. When he noticed my displeasure and annoyance while counselling he'd increase the hours of counselling and even wake me up at odd hours only to talk,....tsk. There were times I felt like leaving him with words hanging in his mouth but I decided otherwise.

This whole thing taught me what I should have learnt easily the hard-way. It came to a point that I could take insults from whoever outside but can't stand the thought of Dad 'counselling'....that bad! I dunno where I am headed with this but, I had since learned my lesson that an angry man is the devil's-workshop.

I could pass for an anger management test but, the slightest-unimaginable-insignificant thing could make me blow my lids off. Damn!...you could have the lids flying off in miles. I guard my pride very judiciously and if you want to see un-bridled rage...fcuk with it.

I couldn't believe how angry(displeased could fit-in better) I was when my friends made me wait for more than two hours for them to get prepared. I did not know what I was angry at. Perhaps it had to do with my Pride. We had an understanding that we were leaving by 12noon. I got up by 10:30 to prepare so I won't keep them waiting(sometimes it takes quite some time for me to get down and out). It occured that even at 1:30pm I still found myself waiting for them. People should just learn to keep appointments( especially if it has to do with the future). You should feel my rage now. I did not act my anger but remained as calm as I could be but it was still obvious. Somehow, I was angry not at them but at myself for waiting that long and alowing me to be angered.

It's all over, I learnt to be stupid for any body or thing, if only it will make them feel or appear 'wise'. That's the much I respect and revere my buddies. Don't ride on my intelligence though, you might just experience a different scenario.

Anger ain't reflex, it could be quelled.