Be Yourself - Grow Dependently, Change Independently

“Over the years I have metamorphosed on the inevitable demands of social inclusion. Now I stand alone because those who demanded I change now insist that I must be myself but I seem to have forgotten who to, or how to be". #beyourself

No Promises

If I gave you my heart, what would you do with it?

Would you care for it and shade it from the worse,

Would you wear it out and tear me down?

If I gave you my heart, what would you give in return?

Not the clichés or paradise, nor rewards in arrears

If I gave you my heart, the one thing I truly own,

Would you give me a happy life, before eternal life?

If I gave you my vote, what would you do with it?

Would you have it all and have me beg,

Would you share the cake as you take and take?

If I gave you my vote, what would you give in return?

Not bags of rice or promises, or crumbs from leftovers

If I gave you my vote, my real power and right to commonwealth,

Would you be my voice or mighty god?

©Ub Matthews - 011114

Human vs. Cultural Rights

“The truths you know today might be a lie tomorrow- listen, ask questions, think for yourself, unlearn your habits, be free indeed!”

Anti-gay proponents argue that, gay-culture (LGBT) is foreign to our culture hence must be espoused; what if it wasn't? Would you accept a reasonable argument that it is indeed an integral part of our pre-colonial culture?

How has the religious and cultural conditioning that shapes our collective national conscience, contributed to, and supported the development of homosexuals in our society?

Is it intelligent to expect a different outcome, other than the natural options that our training and conditioning guarantees?

If there is a chance that our society has indeed tolerated, supported and nurtured homosexuality from time immemorial, how should we treat those whose way of life is merely one of the products, natural consequences or the flaws of our established way of life? Do we ignore, tolerate, treat, pray, protect, lynch, kill?

I would rather belong to a generation of progressively thinking Nigerians who are actively looking out to protect our minorities, after all, it is a merge of minority groups that make up and, add value and, color to our great Nigeria.

This might sound like another foreign thought, but I implore you to kindly, delay your judgment until the later parts of this article.

Cultural and religious values are one of the justifications for our recently assumed national homophobic identity. Looking at it with the other eye, is there a possibility that we have been conditioned by this same values to explore our homosexual tendencies?

Think about a young girl. She is discouraged from association with boys for various other ‘cultural’ reasons. She sits in a ‘Girls Section’ in church 2 times a week, goes to an ‘all girls boarding School” and various youth holiday camps, has mostly female friends, etc. All her life, she has been admonished to seek companionship and emotional support mostly from her kind - there is so much risk and punishment for moral corruption and identity loss if she doesn’t adhere to the some set out rules.

Growing up, she struggled to suppress the unusual feelings she has been having when around friends and acquaintances. ‘Why does she have such feelings, is she a bad person’? These questions have no answer because she cannot ask; it is not her culture to ask questions. Torn, she must refer to the general FAQs for any answers and, get used to the seeming reality – we are generally intolerant of minorities!

Understandably, our society which is still struggling to figure out equally incriminating heterosexual issues would definitely not be sympathetic or interested in understanding homosexuality.

Someday, in the course of living life, as dictated by the restrictions of her society, she meets many other people who even publicly acknowledged having similar evil thoughts and feelings. It is no longer about braveness to publicly explore her reality, it's about life and death, her freedom and survival is suddenly threatened by the pointing fingers of a hateful majority front.

Here is another popular belief, our public administrators are unrepentant sinners yet, no one seems as eager to 'pick up the first stone'. To justify the enormous wealth they are accused of grossly misappropriating, they have worked hard to pass a new laws but, this one has nothing to do with alleviating our sufferings, our pressing needs. Somebody proposed that, since there was so much cock-sucking-adrenaline on the floor, it might be feasible to make new a law that further restricts certain privileges to its untouchable members – what a brilliant idea! The masses whom they already have in their pockets, they would applaud it and surely give them a pass mark for next term.

Now, if you must, please served your judgement as you consider an unrelated story...

As a citizen, how have you contributed to creating this law, what does it say, how can it be interpreted, how does its implementation enhance your quality of life, is it consistent with global perspectives on human rights? These are some of the questions we should debate on instead of accepting whatever is hurriedly decided, with prejudice, in high places.

I often mull on the near possibility that perhaps, our dependence on 'hopeful prayers' over 'practical solutions' is the root of our major national issues. We were told that, God is responsible for our wealth creation/sharing, we pray that the ‘wealth of the wicked shall be ours soon enough - what else can you do? As helpless as we often are, we are always so eager to fight God's battles.

If the government is not doing well but government officials seem to be well off - God must be answering their prayers! There are rumours that most of them are actually stealing public wealth while we close our eyes and pray for your rightful portion; there is evidence to prosecute them with some of our outdated laws; we even have duplicate legal institutions to recover stolen wealth but, we must also pray about it. You may have believed in the lie that only God can save this country, but sadly, prayers will not move Nigeria's mountains until we all take personal little initiatives and look out for our interests.

With all our unwritten moral laws in Nigeria, we can safely predict and accept that homosexual marriages will never be institutionalized, not in the foreseeable future at least; our sodomy laws equally reinforce this outlook and checks for loose ends. Make your list of 111 current issues threatening Nigeria today – 3 for each state, including Abuja; with the current tension threatening to divide Nigeria into worthless factions, do you really need to prematurely include homophobia to the long list?

Now, what is your verdict? – Imagine you were an intelligent, impartial, independent, empowered, realistic...You, really, must punish this girl for displaying a consequence of her ‘gay-conditioning’ environment and set her back in the right path. Bear in mind, resources are scarce, there are numerous backlogs, and the system has been overdue for a total overhaul for a few decades now.

You acknowledge that you cannot further waste ‘allegedly’ lean resources in arresting these alleged minority cock-suckers; it is a simple matter of misplaced priority.

If you are religious, you have the extra option to pray that God would send the big whale to swallow Jonah instead, and be forced to cough out the excess kobos stashed away in their pot bellies.

Would sending this girl to a 14-year tax-free stay, in a crowded prison with other women, be one of your first 3 options to curb her homosexuality?

Would you still celebrate an anti-gay legislation that is actually fucking you in the ass? Why are you always eager to applaud policies that infringe your basic rights and keeps you in perpetual bondage?

Other cultures that had previous strong anti-gay policies are learning from their mistakes, they are better informed today and can truly now decide for themselves. As much as we might think foreign culture has ruined us for good, we must acknowledge that, it is model for most of our widely accepted modern culture, and has presented us with a paradigm from which we can better manage our 'so-called' culture so that it does not consume us in our attempt to preserve it. We are fortunate that most of our problems are not unprecedented, we can choose to observe and learn!

As we aspire and work towards becoming the economic giant of Africa, we must be reminded that we have no common identity, except being humans. How we regard our minorities will play a major role to consolidating our power; the harmonization of culture, or popular belief will only hold until it don't.

The First Time

'OMG! he is cute', she blurted, walking over to have a better view at a Facebook picture on the screen across her desk. 

Her colleague remarked, 'cue up girl! Umar is quite the charmer - boys and girls want him alike'.

'That is a familiar name!' Mima is excited, she rudely hoists herself in front of the screen. Staring blankly at his photos, memories rush back, and her eyes clouds with emotions - it was indeed him!  

'My Umar!' She blurts amidst exasperated sighs, 'after all these years...'

The ensuing events seemed awkward, as she predicted, it was meant to happen - this way, or the other. Afterall, she was the master of the plot. Umar, though 3 years older, was well aware, he accepted his place early enough in the relationship. He loved her too much - that was all that should matter.

'Secret Santa' was a Christmas tradition at Primary School-  everybody brought a gift to a pool and picked a random number from a sock. Successively, each person then picks and unwraps a gift on the spot. If you didn't like yours, you had one chance to exchange it from already opened gifts of others.

As an unwritten rule, whoever picked the 'weirdest' gift was often the brunt of jokes. He wasn't as lucky, his prized pick, a  mini guitar, was immediately snatched, now he had a  teddy - baby Jesus.

No one wanted a teddy - baby Jesus, it was the worst gift this year, but he had lost his chance to take another gift.

Mima, the new girl - brave, curly hair, with missing front teeth - walked up to him and smiled, 'may I have your baby?', she asked, 'you can have my Snow Ball, it's magical!'

He reached out for the exchange but she held back, 'there is a condition', she continued, 'you must volunteer to be my husband; I am 'Virgin-Mary' in the Christmas recitals'. He agreed.

It is 2013, 20 years has passed since they first broke up. He was impatient and she had wanted the first time to be special; now she was ready.

The door bell chimed and disrupted the moment, Mima opened her eyes, he had been watching her - grinning, she smiled back, knowing she belonged at the top of the list. As he started towards the door, he kissed her softly on the forehead and muttered 'come down in a few, I'll make coffee'.

The door creaked close, she stared at the ceiling, reminiscing, 'this is where I belong'. Her gaze wandered, it caught her eye - the Snow-Ball by the dresser - he kept it!

She meets him at the door and tries to conceal her excitement, and the 'Snow-Ball' bulge.

Umar is staring blankly at the baby dropped off in a basket with a note, They look confused, she looks happy. Trembling, he hands her the note and says, 'baby, just like the first time, will you have my baby?'

©Ub Matthews - 240114

LGBT

I have always thought - does my liberal judgements make me a saint or sinner?

Until recently, I have come to realise that I inadvertently delay judgement in order to cope with the increasing pressure to bow to controversial populist views of the status-quo; or empathize with victims of marginalization.

On the issue of the recent anti-gay legislation in Nigeria, once again, I delay my judgement.

However, I wish to remind those openly supporting or disavowing  the polity, to be aware of the risk that this law might pose to the freedom of the many other minorities that make up Nigeria.

Because it seems to be a popular legislation, does not mean that we should sacrifice other hard-earned civil liberties alongside it. Everybody must be carried along.

It can be argued that there are other equally popular views in Nigeria that are yet to be legislated, or enforced, but seem to be blatantly ignored, why this one...why now?

For the absolute 'rule of law' to prevail in our democracy, populist, or any segmented views or interpretations must be secondary.

If we refer to the constitution as base for our laws, we must refrain from celebrating, or condoning any misplaced, or contradicting laws that serves only to promote political, religious, and/or cultural views and agenda while; rubbishing the basic constitutional  and human rights of Nigerian citizens.

2015 seems too soon, It appears that we have given up our right to decide our fate, as a democratic nation. We also stand a risk of eventually losing a lot more!
Popular guys with misplaced priorities, who gamble with the basic needs of the majority and; seem oblivious to the importance of protecting the rights of the minorities, must not win this war.

It is high time that well meaning, new-generation Nigerians be actively involved in managing the diversity of cultures, religions, and all the complexities that makes up Nigeria.
Stop sacrificing your rights and freedom to popular theories and mediocre politicians.The risk of being mere observers and complainers, as we often come to realise, is too far too severe to be ignored!

Praying-Mantis - Oh My God!

I have noticed that it is common for folks on these fora to pick out popular-topic articles and dissect it without even listening to what/how the news is actually reporting/being reported. We are set! We can't accept any foreign reasoning for its physical value, except ones altered for selfish purposes.

We just like to throw each other down 'cause we are so used to such treatment. ' It's our culture we say!' - yeah, the same one we adopted years ago from those trying to teach us newer tricks today!

We are told not to 'forget where we come from' but, at the core of the rot in our society could be the values weaned from our celebrated cultural practices -

'respect our elders, especially the thieves'; 'punish the minority, worship the ogas'; 'pray and have faith; your miracle is on the way!'...

We have seen online-critics and activists bring good change to the political scene so in attempt to adopt it, we complain, but repeatedly do the same thing over, and pray!

Our 'patriotism' and 'passion' prohibits us entertaining any form of paradigm shift whatsoever!

We are experts at making countless 'Cases' for 'God' and once in a while, we are rewarded with a 'Chosen One' to manage His blessings and display His power so that we, can waste our 'blessings' - the often insufficient resources that we are fortunate to receive as reward, to get online and make empty noise to further enrich our 'God'.

People - especially, patriotic Nigerians, are programmed - with permission, only to complain about being victimised by the gods, the same ones we created and, can momentarily destroy.

If our claim to be a 'patriotic' bunch, is a national identity, then I assure you, the wrong people are dying for our dear country!

Have faith! The change we need will come awhile but, make all the noise you want here, and in all the other wrong places, about issues - you or your 'GOD', is passionate about; it is gonna cost a little bit more than that to make your voice really heard and bring about some of the change you want.

Shut up! and listen to each other, people different from you, might actually have something to say. They can be your new God, a better one!

Aside from religion, ethnicity, and scaremongering - what are really the foundation of the issues plaguing our economy today, what are the sustainable options to mitigate these?

Am I really a patriotic Nigerian or, am I just a sell-out, waiting to complain or, God willing, count my blessings during the next crusade?

As you listen to each other, ask yourself, If I eventually became a 'CHOSEN ONE', what would I do differently?

Now say a BIG "Amen!'; conclude your many prayers and start laying a better foundation for the change YOU believe is possible!

Happy Birthday

Happy birthday

Throughout every lunar year

Happy birthday

This is my turn to hear

Happy birthday

How beautiful the charm,

the thrill a two word can bring,

the two worlds that bridge;

in spite of distance, of differences,

of hardships, and silence.

The awareness that certain angels

though plagued by countless commitments,

are keeping tabs on you

and always remember to recite -

as religion or ‘facebook’ requirement,

“Happy birthday”!

Every month of every year,

Only because we are so dear

©Ub Matthews - 260710

Marc Residence for Sale

Owning a luxury residential property that is just a walking distance of 5 minutes away from the famous KLCC twin towers can be a pretty good investment if one appreciates the pros and cons of such investment beforehand.
First of all, to own any of such properties with such proximity to KLCC, one must be prepared to fork out a substantial amount of money so; it is not a project for the lower or middle income earners.
Marc Service Residence is one of those sprawling new projects delivered by a local developer, Beverly Tower Development. Although the developer might not be a household name, track record has proven their ability to deliver such projects with a high degree of success.
Aside from the exorbitant cost of owning a unit in the Marc Residence, there are other salient or obvious factors that one using to purchase such properties may consider.
Traffic
Except one works or has business within walking distance from the Marc Residence, traffic issues that KL is almost always burdened with might be a major turn-off to owning a property there. Of course, there are many alternative transportation solutions like the KLCC Light Rail Train that is 5 minutes away by foot and other shuttle systems that are available. One just has to know beforehand the accessibility and transportation options available.
Noise
KL is almost close to being dubbed as the city that never sleeps and this might pose major discomfort to Marc Residence Owners depending on their lifestyle. Noise that comes from the buzzing traffic; from the Glomac Tower construction site – which on completion will block the view from some Marc Residence units; the numerous Pubs and Clubs that adorn the area; the numerous business and human activities that are present in this area; could make owning the Marc Residence a very un-pleasurable experience. For investor with a primary need for serenity, peace and quiet Marc Residence is certainly not a good investment option.

Aside from the few setbacks caused by the above named factors, Marc Residence is still a choice residential property for many reasons. Visit http://www.propwall.my/klcc/marc_service_residence/classifieds to find out the many privileges of being one of the proud owners of the Marc Residence.

Now

There was a then, that’s just how things were

There is a now; I do things a li’l bit differently

There was a season that I held unto reason

Most were hidden but still, they were reasons

There were times I worried about things I could or couldn’t change;

Believed in the possibility of countless possibilities

There were times that I wanted and got

The other times I needed and naught

There were times I ‘massed, there were times I maxed

There were many times, there were merry times

This time, if only for this moment,

I will only enjoy this now, and do just nothing!

©Ub Matthews - 060110

Godt Nyttår!

…..off to a fresh start, to new beginnings…

Disguised

Once she comes, the wanton bird,

She clings to many-many handsome men,

She brings her fairy god-mother’s tale,

And clips the wings of hapless men.

 

Once he comes, the worthless man,

He blinds her eyes with shimmering bling,

He clothes her mind with seemingly bliss,

And strips her soul of dignity’s piece.

 

Once she comes, the wanton bird,

She plays the ’Hail Mary’ medley piece,

She sings until she breaks her bill,

And flies away to other means.

©Ub Matthews - 261009

the boy or girl

You are a boy in a funny shirt

And, I wear my skirts rolled, twice at the waist

We are at odds, but we must have our reasons

 

We are strangers with contrasting views

We sit two at a table of four

We talk loud, but no one hears each other

 

It isn’t arrogance or deniable truth

It isn’t anything that ever was, and will be

It is fact that there are two empty red, plastic chairs by the corner

 

I confess, on some days,

I tug at these strings more anxiously than I should

With more desire than I would dare loose on you

 

I wait breathless to feel the air suck me close to you

I wait for time that comes and ensnares me dearly

I pray for a table, the one with the two red, plastic chairs

 

I might just be a crazy girl with trembling arms

Holding up both ends of the rope

I might just be living a two man’s life,

 

But, if you are what you love and not what loves you back

Then maybe, I am the boy who likes funny shirts

And you, fold your skirts twice at the waist.

©Ub Matthews et Anis Syahirah – 240909

.....knowlegde is only a read away.

The Life

The sky changed its mood again and blackness colored the once cherry sun.

The distant chime of midnight sways with the wind,

Carrying along whispered prayers to the night.

Once again a day bows in exit,

I lie awake; my mind wanders, lost in the galaxies,

A thousand bright eyes staring down on me

Did they awake just to watch me sleep?

Are the angels really watching over me?

With eyes wide shut, I begin to slip

Deep, deep into oblivion…

One time went by, and two is almost done

Tomorrow merges with the past, and,

Once again I am caught, gathering up pieces of a life

One that passes as swiftly as the evening shadows

Leaving only warm memories as company by nightfall

The good life – I think, the good life – I think

The Good One I thank for the good life I’ve lived.

©Ub M - 010809

A tribute to Micheal

….you lived, you  died, now you’ll just live in our hearts, may more men like you be born.

June 12th

Most Nigerians and perhaps West Africans would be familiar with this date. Something to do with democracy, elections and Moshood Abiola, the stupendously rich bloke that could have been Nigeria’s democratically, free and fairly elected president after long years of military rule.

Who knows what path Nigeria would have taken if that happened? Maybe we could have been better off with him or perhaps, running in circles still, we’ll never know!

The elections was held no doubt, peaceful and un-rigged, first of it’s kind in Nigeria, he probably won, but he was never president for one day! He was mapped!

Couldn’t care the less about politics just yet, it’s just that I needed to post something here today just to tell myself that I tried and my dormant head reminded me of a date that I haven’t thought about in more than 5years.

Couldn’t be bothered using my head today,if it needs to time-out, let it rest all it wants!

my dead fish

.....so, I decided to go fishing for the first time in my life with my brothers from another mother and after a long winded drive down the dusty fishing settlement, a couple of beers and about 4hours of casting in the sun, again, I managed to catch my maiden fish, hooked it up right in the mouth but it was already dead!

Did I say that a few more got away and that I was the only one in our team of regular fishermen who caught something? Please, be proud for me! As long as I know that fishing is not really my sport, there is no harm in going to shop for my own fishing rod right? Say it was a good change from the routine of things.

...and yeah! black men do get tanned. I have a few tan lines from shooting the Suzuki ad for 2days in the sun as proof....ain't that a shame! I am a dalmatian.

Vainness

Visions in flashes, and melody, and crashes
The leap to step, and the heap of mistake
Distress calls, the stake just raised
Here is the vanity of haste,
The enormity of waste
Was it karma? Is it common?
Long nights and a brief dawn
Is it Tuesday?
There are footsteps of night on the wet lawn
Lights flashes, twice, static
Life’s champion lies, panting
Drowned in cheers and sweat
He won the race that has not finished
The fight against self, the race toward time
A mind against will,
A basket full of wishes

©Ub Matthews - 100509

Shattered – A Remix of Anis’ Story

I watched you
I watched your silhouette block the light
Beams of light rushes in from the open door,
Throws a spotlight on you
The reflection illuminates my messy mind
In a moment it is swept away

The night closed and we surrendered to cold,
Making our way through spills and shattered glasses
Shivering, from cold and fear of shattered chances
One two minds, is this one mine?

The speech in my head cancels the words on your lips
I heard what you said, not the ones from your lips
In heaps, tears begin to form…
My quicksilver frozen tongue,
All the things you should know,
I surrender,
I surrender as cold tears travel down my chin

© Ub Matthews et Anis Syahirah -170409

quartely report

I just felt like coming plain this time around, non-lyrical, non-poetic plain, about the events that have consumed my time lately. April is always a special month for many reasons for me, It comes with the beginning and ending of many phases in my life.
Lately there is so much to write about, but very little enthusiasm. Sitting at the waiting area in a specialist medical center today, thoughts started flooding me and I wish I had a means to document them as they came. I decided to do it summarily, a report on my life or the events that have occurred that I shall remember these few days.

My future in the country:
So as not to dwell too much on this topic, I am going to be straight. It will be very difficult to leave this place no matter how good the opportunities that present itself in greener pastures. I always thought otherwise. I didn't realize how much I got used to this place.

My brain activities:
With amnesia setting in and the clock ticking, I decided to pick up a few things to deal with my almost dormant head.

o Scrabble

I picked this up sometime last year but got into a competition this year and surprisingly I was very eager to be in the first five (5) which would mean beating all those seasoned players who have been doing it before me for years. That was not to be but I nonetheless got a price and a certificate for the 11th place! Dig that!

o Music

Ok, I am not very proud of my achievement in this department but, I have come a long way learning stuff by myself thus far. I have tried my hands on many instruments; maybe being a jack of all trade had a hold on me, I can barely say that of all the instruments (guitar, keyboard and drums) that I have flirted with, it appears to be only my drumming skills that is honing. This might be partly because I get to do it every other week in church.
I have a sea of materials that could be recorded songs someday but lack of resources is slowing me down. I have tried taking vocal lessons online to strengthen my already diminishing vocal strength but the motivation slips away too often.
Yeah, I have broadened my music ears too as many might notice, I am now listening to and enjoying music that could make many brothers’ ear tingle and I don’t give a damn how ‘white’ they think I have become...I am just grown.

· Sports
Football is still my thing no doubt but I grabbed the opportunity to inflict pain on people the minute it came. Some scout saw me in a football game and told me to try out for rugby, courtesy of my build and speed, I thought about it and started training!
It is becoming fun to train as I now have a faint idea of the objectives of the sport. I joined as a pure novice but I am not given any special treatment at all! I am supposed to just watch, play and blend in. The challenge is helping me grasp it more, despite the fact that it makes me feel stupid nonetheless.
I felt so out of place at first, for starters, until I went for a shower after training, I have never seen that much variety of penises in my whole life! It is very amazing the different species of ‘map’ that folks hide under their pants, even I was in awe!
I still have the ‘yikes’, when I think about the water that we have to drink on the pitch, folks have to scoop it from a cork container with cups and ice in it. The cups are shared and people just scoop the water with them and throw them in again after they are done drinking.
The water is mixed with all sorts of things, blood, grass, sweat, sand, boogers, hair, pvc, ice blocks, etc….I have to bring my own water to the pitch now….fuck team spirit! My stomach is too fragile I am already spending most of my savings trying to figure out what causes the severe stomach aches I have been having lately. This being me to the next point;

· Health
I try to be as healthy as possible, minimize my exposure to cigarette smoke, dust, drink clean water often and all those other nonsenses that are supposed to help me live a long, ill-free life but, yeah, this recurrent stomach aches I have been having is almost making me a sissy despite my efforts to brave up so, I decided to deal with it…squarely. I finally got to fix an appointment and get an ultrasound scan; I have been putting this off for 6months now mainly due to the recession today...hehehe.
I realized how ultrasound scans have been stereotyped as a women-only procedure. Not wanting to be on the waiting list for an appointment I had with my doctor for it in June, I decided to go see a private specialist. The first clinic I walked into was a “LOH WOMEN’S SPECIALIST CLINIC”, I will forgive the nurse who almost walked me away after she found out that I was gonna be the one getting the scan and not a female partner. She told me it is a women clinic/procedure only and I stood my ground until one Dr. Loh took my 70bucks, smeared me with gel, said a couple of weird things and then recommended me to a REAL specialist a couple of blocks away who, repeated the same procedure, with softer hands but for a higher fee, explained some jargons, caressed, told me that my bilateral kidneys, gallbladder, pancreas and spleen, liver were in top-shot condition, and that I didn’t have suprarenal masses and an obvious paraaortic lymphadenopathy, gave me printed-out pictures of my abs and a report of what she just said and, sent me to go see my doctor, again, and, come again, for a ‘scope’ to rule out any intestine abnormalities on the recommendation of my doctor.

· Social Life
I made a vow to go out and dance every night except Sundays and Mondays for as long as it is fun, it has been wicked fun! And I have kept that vow so far! hihi
Ok, this babble will have to pause here, my head spins and I can’t be bothered to save it and continue again…such has been my life, the outline at least…..to be continued perhaps!

Ub

Ok, So, Sara randomly sends me a link, it is an online dictionary with the acroymns/definitions of my uber cool name, 'Ub'.....I am so cooled out that I decided that I am going to do stuff that I don't do often, re-post the excerpts in a bulleted remixed format....

• The state University New York at Buffalo - Largest and most prestigious University in New York State. Professors here supposedly have English language deficiency
• Under a blanket
• Unknown Bittie - a hottie that you do not know personally
• United Bamboo - an Asian gang
• Un Boyfriend - like a booty call or fuck buddy for those of you smouks who don't like the four-letter word( this one is gay!)
• Underage Boobies - this is the funniest! Used to describe the bossom of a hot under-18 year old girl, one that screams 'look-but-dont-touch!'
• University of Buffalo or Ugly Bastard - Used to diss, "is UB Ugly Bastard or University of Buffalo?'
• Ulan Bator - The capital of Mongolia. It is supposely cool if it is 'UB'
• University of Botswana - I just added this one to the list but I am certain they call it UB.

Here is the link to the copyrighted site in case any of you muschicks(sic) cry plagarism....SHUT UP! it's my name! hihihihihi http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?page=2&term=ub

Isn't this handsomely and coolio and lame in a sense! I am not a perv but I the underage boobies thing knocked me off my stool