Sat back and thought about the meaning of life, something I do when I am either down or dangerously happy. I tried to cost real happiness - what is the worth of a smile? Questions came coming but answers strayed so I apply 'option 2' - sleep over it. This is not foul-proof though.
What is life?
why do we have the ups and downs?
Why do some people suffer so much while others party?
Why are good guys oustrasized in preference to bad dudes?
Why are the rich richer and the poor poorer?
Why is there so much prejudice when we all stem from the same 'cunt' - Eve's
Why am I asking this questions?
Why...?
Why...?
Why...!
There is something I like about solitude, I am more alert and productive when I am solo. I perform better in the midst of chicks and challenges though..this is ma saving grace. People mistake ma solitudes for boredom and it hurts me when this disrupt some cool thoughts and mind travel expeditions but itz all good. I love being around friends to a fault.
Lately, I took to reading stuffs. This is something I learnt from ma elder sister. Reading novels ranging from romance thingys to things-that-you-can't-imagine thingys. Kindda became a habit to read things that I am not gonna get a 'A' for. When there ain't nothing to read, I take to reading stocks, ma friends wonder if I study the newspapers. Being a Jack of all trade and master of some. THis has thought me very many cool things about life that I feel like I can be anything, do anything if I just put ma back and faith into it.
Life in this part of the world has made me so lazy and guilty. I feel that everyday, I am wasting so much valuable time that I would have used in impacting in other lives. Seeing that everything is meant for a purpose, I see the positive side of it while hoping for a change. I only play with ma mind when I feel Iam bored, try to feed it with data that proves to be just useful oftentimes. This I do just to decieve it that I can do much without buds and money - you can imagine the depth of un-truth in this phrase.
Took a clue of ma predicament and reasoned how many people I see in a day that are just faking a smile. This I thought to be evil - Why smile if you are hurting? Itz just a game of deceiving others that all is well when it ain't. But look at it in the light. You are not only bringing succour to ailing hearts, you are telling the world "look, I can still smile despite life". This is so refreshing so I thought. Preaching through your actions that there ain't no flood of problems that can drown a smile. This is the real magic! People see you from afar and think - Hmm..hez living a good life but when they come closer they see the opposite. 'Why the hell does he keep grinning they ask?' I think this will be as simple to some as it is a mystery to others.
Reading this book about the history of God has taught me more about the level of futility of human wisdom. The more we yearn for it and think we have arrived, the more we realise how stupid and foolish we are becoming. If somebody created you and everything you've got around you, don't you think that trying to think in his thoughts will demand his grace? or am I bullshitting again?.....
I try to do something when I am at ma peak so I don't feel so unfulfilled afterwards, I Just scribbled this Poeima(Smiles) here right here so I don't forget. Check it out in ma blog. Plagiarise if you may, it did not cost me a sen to pen it.
When you think act, if you can't, scribble it. Fate has it in a way that you might need this 'thought' sometime.
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